de Bugger

Prologue


Goodbye mail


If you haven't heard it yet then now is the time...I am moving into another company...and I have lost count as to how many companies I have worked prior to this one, perhaps there is no point in counting the numbers...as there are more number software engineers in Kerala than the number of gutters in the roads and an equal number of companies to feed them...
In this rat race that we are in, perhaps what stays with us is those pretty little memories, those little jokes that we shared, those laughs behind the tables during the meetings,those lovely little naps after the lunch in the cubicle, the glimpses of those cutie pies passing by, those movies, those IPL matches , those election discussions and not to forget those unending lines of codes and the break points in between embedded with those nerve wracking logic...
Dear friends,
Thanking you is the last thing I would like to do as I am not saying good bye yet...because who knows we may meet in some other company in some other year in some other country in some other post watching the same IPL match in another season...You have filled my life with those unforgettable cute little memories that is gonna stay with me forever...and I hope I will also find a few KB of space somewhere in the corner of your heart...
'Do keep in touch, never say good bye, will keep you posted' - sorry,no such punch dialogues here..why have people created things like FB,Twitter, Orkut and the likes then for!
But I will miss you guys...Bye.


He finished writing his last mail in this office...but why ? 

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Now, lets wind the clock back a year or two as in old fashioned movies...I am counting on your visualization skills, you will need them in plenty this time.

Disclaimer...all the events,characters,paraphernalia-used in this post are purely fictional and over exaggerated as usual! Any resemblances identified would be height of coincidence. The protagonist in the story this time is someone who kerala is infected with-a software engineer...here techies call him Dillu mon.

No matter how hard you try for certain things to not happen in life, there is a handsome enough probability that it will definitely happen in your life. Thinkers say that its because you keep thinking of that scenario and that's why it happens sooner or later. And that's precisely what happened in my life! I ended up being a Software Engineer.

Dillu joined the company after the usual test and interviews in which he was put to test but some how managed to squeeze himself through...and then it was training time, where he was exposed to big guns like class, object, delegate , interface, DB, IIS, Silverlight, SQL Server, namespace and the likes...

Apparently, the only class Dillu knew was the one he usually used to bunk !

"delegate...what the heck is that,well, I know 2nd gate and 4th gate which is a railway gate near to which my friend lives..."  

One could hear Dillu blabbering such things to his mates in the training batch.

Some loud shouts from the training hall that used to echo out...

Trainer: "I will give you a glimpse of the 7 layered architecture"

Dillu : "(oh really)"

Trainer: "Before that, I am your trainer, I will be handling you for the next 3 months and by the end of it you guys will be IT wizards! "

Trainer:".....with the Strategy pattern, you can simply encapsulate the algorithm behind an object. If you do that, you can provide new media plug-ins at any time.....................................

..........from the business layer the control goes to the data access layer which has the base class and gives the data to info class. If you keep yawning like this I will kick you out of the class"

(the last sentence was aimed at Dillu's sleep-architecture)

Dillu : "(Heaven save us from the seven layer)".

Trainer :"Aggregations and associations , might invite aggressive reactions from the listeners, so I leave it to you for self study".

3 months of such training made Dillu loose the remaining half of his mind.....and there was an exam at the end of training which Dillu had to clear.  

Astonishingly , Dillu managed to clear the exam quite easily...of course the questions were predictable, but one had to memorize the flow of control and lines of code...which Dillu had capsuled into a paper bit.

Vinod : "Keeping bit for college exams is a habit but for this one at the office ! unbelievable"   

Dillu : "old habits die slowly !"

Vinod : "And what did you do with the SQL Server ?"

Dillu : " I'd rather be a server in some hotel than learning this SQL server, I wrote some rubbish and sprinkled ink on top of that"

Vinod : "What ?"

Dillu : "Yes it looks like English, that's all is needed for passing !"

At the end of the training , IT wizards now sounds more like IT lizards !

Dillu entered the so called project and kept learning the nuances and intricacies involved in surviving a day in a cubicle. Along with that he got familiar with refreshments such as Scrabble, Angry Birds and Farmville.

A year has passed by , Dillu has become quite proficient now.

Colleagues used whisper when he passed by 

'here comes the bugger, I mean de bugger' as , Dillu was quite popular in debugging.


Obviously, the year gone by had its own share of adventures.


John : "Why is Reshma sitting in the other section ? she used to sit here, right ? "


Kuttappan : "She changed the bay...the other day that nutt, Dillu, he said something..."


John : "What did he say...? "


Kuttappan : "Nothing serious, he asked aloud , whether anyone has any extra pads with them...and you know, she was the only lady around..."


John : "This is absurd, how could that fellow say such things aloud, even if he wants one for some reason ! "


Kuttappan : "Well, he was actually referring to mouse pad, his mouse pad had gone missing and he wanted another one, so he was politely but loudly asking for a spare pad but the mouse was missing ! "

John :"Now she has gone missing !"  

Once in a while, the business analyst known as Sam Octopus - whose face looks like that of an octopus wearing specs, used to mail new requirements and modifications on projects. And he always used to convey  the most potent idea or advice in the end...

"Now, you write some sort of code , you see , this software code, I hope you understand, and create all that is mentioned in the document."


Dillu : "(What the hell...I mean,that's what I have been doing all these days...You don't have to remind me this every now and then you stupid buffalo, I mean Octopus...)"


Noushad : "By the way, How is Elaborate Now coming along ?"


Dillu : "You don't want to hear..."


Noushad : "What ?"


Dillu : "Each sprint has been named very symbolically you know"


(a sprint, not the 100 metre running race that happens in the Olympics, is a phase of the project...even though at the start of this sprint , the people involved in the project will start running , it goes on and on and normally culminates at the day of the launch...which usually happens somewhere near midnight on the dead line)


"Now we are in sprint 1 and our situation is such that its called Elaborate How ? Which symbolizes How in this world are we going to Co ordinate this thing and get it moving."


Noushad : "Not bad, how many Sprints are going to be there?"


Dillu : "While we are in second sprint its gonna look as messy as a cattle shed and it will be called Elaborate Cow.

By the time , its the third sprint , we will be mad as if infected by rabbis...so the third sprint has been named elaborate Bow...the howling noise made by rabid dogs is some thing like bow bow bow". 


Noushad : "Perfect ! "


Dillu : "At the end of final sprint the site will be up and running".


Noushad : "You mean you guys will be running ? "


Dillu : "People will look at the site and...


Noushad : "...and they will start running ? "


Dillu : "No, you moron, people will look at the site and say Wow ! So it will be called"."


Noushad : "Elaborate Wow ? "


Dillu : "Precisely ! But sadly I wont be here until the last sprint..."


Noushad : "Why , what happened ? "


Dillu : "I just wrote the goodbye mail"


Here take a look, 

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Epilogue


Good bye mail

If you haven't......................

......................I will miss you guys,Bye.

Noushad : "Dude, what are you saying, why are you leaving ?"


Dillu : "The other day, a car was parked in the rear entrance, I couldn't bring my bike inside , it was raining and I got angry...I scratched the red paint of the car with a stone until it read


'No parking in front of the gate you as$%^^^' "


Noushad : "Shit man, that was our M.D's new car"


Dillu : "Yes I knew it later and I saw M.D's wife staring at me from her window after I finished the last word in red".


Noushad :  "Is it ! then,  don't you worry dude".


Noushad : "From reliable sources I know that Madam isn't happy with the colour of their new car and wants to change it. She has been pestering him to change it but he is being so obstinate, now that you have removed half of the colour he has no other choice but to change it...and she will be happy, so she is not going to disclose the identity of the culprit...So, you are going no where".


And Dillu's goodbye mail went to the recycle bin and Dillu went back to his cubicle to continue his adventures.