This time it’s the summer of 2006...The names used are nick names but they are original. Few of the events during infinITy have been distorted slightly for some unknown reasons and only a tenth of the whole story is being unfolded here because the original is infinitely long as the name suggests!
S8--the semester of adieus, the semester of relief for some, the semester of agony for many, the semester that gets over like a hundred meter race featuring Usain Bolt ! Perhaps the only semester in which some of us get to feature in photographs and that's only because class photos of the proud passing out batches are mandatory for the next edition of college magazine...
We, the 8th semester of computer science didn't have plans to pass out like just another batch. As per our ex- HOD we were the batch that brought disgrace to the whole department, if not the whole college, with our aggregates! And it’s not a real passing out actually, because half of the class is going to come back for the arrear exams 2 months later...so, phrases like passing out, convocation, rank holder etc are not to be taken in the literal sense...
Our college never had the history of a conventional convocation, the kind you see in movies in which graduates throw their convocation hats high into the air and embrace each other and parents come and hug their child....tear dropping scenes! This never happens here, perhaps the 'bachelors' are too worried of getting back their own hats after throwing them up in the air! And parents coming to college, which would rather bring nightmares to the respective offspring...
Computer science wanted to wash away that disgrace tag by doing something special in the last semester.
After the monthly feast, the think tank met at one of the hostel rooms and discussed possible options at length...few of those were
Ranju: Why don’t we conduct some seminar on emerging technologies?
Pukoi: Oh yes, and the audience will yawn from dawn to dusk. And what is special about that?
We should do something big, spanning 2, 3 days.
Vinu: Yeah, this sms-generation can’t tolerate something like seminars.
Jeff: Burn our HOD's Lambretta ? The after effects will last for more than 2 or 3 days in that case!
Pachu: Jeff, are you drunk?
Jeff: Why, is this some kind of global summit going on where the premiers are supposed to attend without boozing? I am seriously thinking about what I said, if this time also that bugger fails me in the practicals then I will burn his scooter along with his ass, I swear.
Pachu: Jeff, I will light the torch for you to do something constructive like that, now let’s get serious. boss, you got any ideas? Why don’t we do some national level thing?
Jeff: Yeah, go and see the Tajmahal, that will be national level...
Boss: Guys, let’s conduct a national level competition along with quiz, game shows and other stuff.
Ranju: OK, what competition?
PP: How about project presentation competition?
Pachu: and what exactly is that?
Boss: Students from colleges across the country will come and present their projects, the one they do in final year or different ones.
Jeff: across the country...is this Maldives we are in?
Ranju: Shut up Jeff. Boss, it seems to be a good idea, and we will also conduct mock press, quiz, game show, open forum
PP: Fashion show also?
Pachu: PP, this isn't the 'fine arts'.
PP: Yeah, I know. Atleast we should put a rule that contestants should come in western formals, so that we can get a glimpse of the artifacts that are arriving. And teams of 5 should include atleast 2 girls.
Jeff: Oh yes, and we will make you the event manager!
PP: I prefer to look after the accommodation of the (female) contestants.
Ranju: and then we will have to look after you in the general ward of the medical college nearby.
Jeff: No general ward for PP, we will put him in pay ward with more than one sisters to look him after.
Pachu: By the time he is discharged sisters will become mothers!
Ranju: Okay guys, what’s the budget? Don’t forget, it’s national level.
Boss: 1 lakh?
Pachu: Dude we are doing this for the first and last time, let’s make it big, 2 lakhs, what say ?
To which others agreed.
Pachu: And how much do we have with us now?
Jeff: Half a bottle is there in my room...
Boss: we can get 25K from PTA fund another 25K from our department fund and the rest we need to find out.
PP: find out? What does that mean? Some girl has hidden it in the usual way they do it ?
Ranju: PP, did you finish the other half bottle that Jeff was mentioning?
Pukoi: Well, we will have to get sponsors and donations from kind hearted natives.
Ranju: Okay and how much time do we have?
Pachu: Approximately 2 months from now?
Boss: Yes, and then we have our 'university' approaching,
PP: so, the sessionals should be before the 'University'
Pukoi: we don’t have time for that, Rep will have to get hold of the HOD and persuade him to keep the sessionals after the 'university'
Rep: Sounds mission impossible. Let me see.
Jeff: OK guys, let’s stop burning the mid night oil now
Pachu: Boss, so you announce this tomorrow in the department meeting and Rep, you brief the HOD and Princi early in the morning.
Few days after that. The anticipated financial aid from PTA fund didn't materialise because the PTA was bankrupt and the department was nearing bankruptcy...that was anticipated though! So we had to find the whole 2 lakhs for the program - which was named infinITy. That meant nonstop work for all of us. We had to go to colleges to invite teams, meet sponsors, meet natives for donations, create fixtures for events, post banners and notices across the town, get judges to evaluate projects and other competitions, manage food and accommodation for contestants and volunteers, skip assignments and class tests and much more...
For this, numerous committees were formed with a final year fellow as the head and juniors to hold this head erect.
the stingiest of them all-Pokoi and DJ were made head of financial committee...who always complained about lack of funds and the lakhs that needed to be found out.
So, everyone was nerve wreckingly busy with infinITy. Skirmishes between committees were frequent, but it’s all part of a national level competition. Now national level meant, teams had to come from across the country?....not exactly, atleast one team from outside the state will make it national level and that team will be from Mangalore. The reason being, Mangalore is as near as the next district
Committees were sent to all corners of Malabar where humans possibly existed and to give some entertainment to the committee members, each committee comprised of 1 or 2 chicks.
They had to bag sponsors and few thousands as donations.
PP: DJ, we are going to the town, 7 of us. Need fund for bus fare
DJ: OK , here take this 50 bucks.
PP: Are you kidding, 50 bucks! a ticket alone costs 7 and then we may need to catch auto to go to the suburbs and then we need to return, Also it will get late so we need to have food...
DJ: For all this, committee NEEDS to have money.
PP: What do you expect us to do , take few xeroxes of the 50 and use it ???
DJ: Relax PP....once you get few sponsors today, then there is no hurry for you to return, so an evening walk back to the hostel is the need of the hour. To make it more refreshing you may include Sajna also in the team...the walk will be memorable!
To that PP had to yield because the new inclusion was too enticing to ignore.
*************
Now there is hardly a month for infinITy. By now 26 colleges have agreed to take part including the one from Mangalore. The prizes we offered were lucrative. The budget was staring at us arrogantly like our HOD.The committee heads were frantically running healter skelter across Malabar...I was cunning enough to disassociate myself from all committees and go after something else which lied at the Capital.
That night at the hostel, Jeff's room...
Ranju: Only half of the funds have been collected, no sponsors for the main event yet.
Pukoi: Everyone in our class is in debt. Can’t go to the coffee house and canteen for food, the debt under our Association Secretary there has touched thousands.
Pachu: Boss is also in debt?
Vinu: Yes! Will have to find some ornaments from the girls to mortgage.
Boss alias the world bank of our class was in debt, signaled height of bankruptcy.
Ranju: OK, so, who is gona be the chief guest for the program?
Pukoi: Education minister?
Pachu: Now, we will have to go to Trivandrum for that, I think District collector will do. He is nearby.
Rep: Collector sounds too mediocre, Pachu, as you said earlier, we need to make it big.
Pachu: Dood, so who do you think we should approach ?
Rep: Let me see what I can do.
Vinu: Guys, there is time to finalize about this chief guest thing ,Let’s look at more immediate necessities
Jeff: Yeah, let me go to the toilet and then to bed and you guys may go to the collector or minister or whoever.
Jeff's necessity was the most immediate indeed !
Inviting Education Minister, there is nothing special in that, and Collector sounds too minuscule...All those collectors reading this, kindly excuse, I know you guys have burned the midnight oil to gain those 3 letters called IAS , but that notwithstanding.
I wanted some big name as the chief guest. Why not it be the biggest name in India?
It’s time for me to interrupt ,I am one in the class. I was mistakenly chosen as the class representative once, and ever since I came to be known as the Rep.
The biggest name in India was at the Capital- New Delhi and it was Abdul Kalam the President. A P J Abdul Kalam to be precise .Yes, when the initials are expanded it’s literally a big name!
After a massive search operation in Google, I got the number of Rashtrapathi Bhavan. But calling the Rashtrapathi in phone, will have to think seriously about the repercussions.
I haven't spoke to someone of this stature in my life, I could feel my heart in my mouth as I reached the booth, My mobile never had enough balance to make STDs, also it will be more difficult to trace the one who calls from a booth if at all the president decides to book me for some offense unknown to me.
I am gona call, come what may.
The phone was picked up on the second ring !
Lady at the other end: Welcome to Rashtrapathi Bhavan.
My voice was slightly trembling, but I was relieved that it was not Kalam who picked up the phone directly!
Rep: Hello, I am calling from Kerala, I am a college student. Can I speak to the President?
Sometimes when you are tensed, you act before you think inorder to get over that moment of truth!
The lady at the other end didn't reply for few seconds, perhaps the outrageousness of my reply was deafening !
Lady: Please hold on, I will connect you.
Rep: You mean to the President ?
Lady: No, to his secretary.
And another male voice answered...
I gave him my details.
Rep: Sir, is it possible to speak to the President ?
Secretary: No, that's not possible, Please tell me in brief what is that you want.
Rep: I want the president to come to my college as the chief guest for a function. It’s next month.
Secretary: Please send us the details in fax or post.
and he hung up.
Now , I had to write a letter to Kalam, reading which he should board the next plane and come to our college. But writing letters is not as easy as sending sms, you need grammar, spelling and you had some protocol thing to observe when you write letters to president, who will I ask, is there anyone nearby who has written letters to the president ?
How am I supposed to address him ?
Dear president? Dear Mr.Kalam? Kalam Uncle? (sounds dramatic) Dear Sir? Yes that will do, maybe in the next letter I will get more personal.
And the letter was written highlighting the inevitability of a chief guest for any program and underscoring the necessity of him as the chief guest.
Along with the letter, the posters and other stuff of infinITy was sent. But this alone won’t do, I will have to do more STDs to Delhi.
In the next 2 weeks, I called to the Rashtrapathi Bhavan nearly 15 times and 15 different people from the president's office attended the phone. I repeated the same story to all of them. How many does this fellow has in his office? Finally I managed to get hold of the personal secretary Mr. Tangappan. Getting this one in phone itself was an ordeal
Secretary: You see, the presidents programs are fixed 3 months in advance. And there is no scheduled visit to Kerala in the coming 6 months. We have to follow certain protocols in this.
Rep: Sir, this is the question of our pride, I mean computer science needs to save it’s face and Mr. Kalam is our saviour!
Secretary: I saw your poster and letter, it’s quite impressive.
Rep: Thank you sir, but Mr.Kalam didn't see it?
In between Mr. Tangappan uttered a word in Malayalam by mistake. The rest was easy.
After 10 minutes of unending conversation,
Secretary: OK, OK I will mention about infinITy to the President and let me see what can be done, you call tomorrow at the same time and ask for me.
The next day same time.
Again, my heart was beating somewhere around the 130s , I got the personal secretary online without any ordeal this time, perhaps, like my university, the Rashtrapathi Bhavan has got used to me !
Secretary: Well, the president has agreed to come, we consider your invitation as official. But as per the rules, your principal needs to invite the President officially. We will inform your principal within 2 days after that about the visit and further details. We will send our security team in 7 days from then to assess the level of security that needs to be implemented.
Rep: Thankkkkkk you Sirrrrrrr....
That thank you conveyed a hundred meanings, a sense of relief, a sense pride, a sense of nervousness, a sense of fear,a sense of numbness, a sense of arrogance...why not...I,I,...I am bringing Kalam to the college, Kalam the president of the Republic of India, my role model, is coming to my college on my request. This is no ordinary thing. Even 100 collectors won’t stand before 1 Kalam.
Now, this is starting to become too hi-fi , I can’t handle this alone anymore, will have to discuss about further plans with someone....Pachu, save my soul.
Pachu was busy with his Laptop.
Rep: Dood, got something serious to discuss, let’s go to the beach!
Pachu: Beach? To discuss something serious? There is something seriously wrong with you!
Now, tell me what it is ? As you know, we don’t have any main sponsors yet , I am experiencing tension at it’s height, no time for beach now.
Rep: I don’t care about the main sponsors, MP3 and team has gone on the hunt for main sponsors, he will bag someone, don’t worry. I got something bigger to tell you.
Pachu: Bigger than the main sponsors? Don’t forget, the main sponsorship is of 25k.
Rep: Dood, as the add. says, there are few things money can’t buy...I gota tell something about the chief guest...
Pachu: I was about to tell you that, Education minister's office replied that he won’t be able to make it, We tried our VC , but for our University, VC is a nonexistent entity. Now, we only have the Collector left.
Boss is too busy, so you need to go to the Collectorate, take Sajna also with you. She knows someone in the Collectorate and you enjoy some fringe benefits along with!
Rep: OK, that’s enough. Now fasten your seat belts and listen to me.
Abdul Kalam is coming to our college as the chief guest.
Pachu: Perhaps we should go to the beach itself. You seriously need to cool down a bit. Relax dood, don’t take everything on your head, we all are here. Don't worry we will get the funds, you take a shower and have your supper.
Rep: You nutt , I will have to really fasten you to something if you go on like this. OK , once again for the hearing impaired.
I said The President APJ Abdul Kalam is coming to our college as the chief guest of infinITy.
And I uncovered all the adventures I had with RPB alias Rashtrapathi Bhavan, and he hugged me like the hero in those Hindi movies who is seeing the heroine after 6 years in prison.
Pachu: dood, this is serious, what is that we need to do next, what all arrangements do we need to make, will he do a student interaction program after the inauguration. But where did you get the money for so many STDs.
Rep: Your watch is missing for the last few days, right?
I gave it to bsnl as STDs to Delhi. Sorry dood, my watch had already met its destiny during my trip to Mangalore to invite the colleges there.
Pachu: You nutt, you could have told me, anyways, leave it. So, let’s do a Kalam Action Plan. Let’s call boss, Ranju and Pokoi also.
Rep: Wait, we will discuss things first. We need to have a committee for him,to manage the chief guest related matters. Kalam Committee.
Pachu: Kalam’ity!
Rep: We will have Pokoi, Unnimaya and Sudeesh Sir along with both of us in kalam'ity.
Pachu: dood, this is really great stuff. If Kalam comes to our college, then you will be a hero, computer science will be on top of the world. Our college won’t be the same after that. MNCs will start to come to our college for placement. The state government will give a face lift to our college. Our department will be made to NIT standards. Maybe the university will give a waiver to your arrears also :)
Let’s go to the Princi and brief him. He will be in his quarters, right?
Rep: I checked out, he has gone to his native for the weekend, we will have to wait until Monday. Till then you keep your lips sealed, you get me?
Pachu: OK,OK. Hopefully kalam'ity won’t become a calamity by then!
Rep: Yeah, it won’t, unless he falls and breaks his hand.
On the next day me and Pachu drafted a detail plan for Kalam, infact, I secretly wrote a speech to give on stage. But will it be against the so called protocol, will they allow me to speak ? Only the Association Secretary and Chairman from students will be speaking on stage. I will somehow find a way to share stage with him atleast for a few minutes, they can’t push me aside like that. Will have a deal with the principal tomorrow.
It was Sunday night and surprisingly it was raining with thunder and lightning, perhaps the town was cooling itself before the arrival of Kalam. I was at the mess hall in hostel for dinner, the TV was on. It was some football match in espn , in between someone tuned to NDTV, I saw 'breaking news'...and the next thunder took the current away...
Next day morning...there was hardly any time to read papers, I was getting ready to meet the principal, left a message to Pachu to be there at 9.
It’s 8.55 , Pachu has not yet come, I called him.
Rep: Hey you are not coming ?
Pachu: I was about to ring you, don’t meet the princi now. We need to talk.
Rep: Why, what happened ?
Pachu: You saw the papers ?
Rep: No, didn’t get time. I am going to enter princi's room. Will see you after that.
Pachu: Dood, wait for me to come, no use of meeting the princi again.
Rep: will you tell me what’s the matter?
Pachu: It’s in the papers, calamity has struck kalam'ity!
Rep: Dood, I don’t have time for jokes now.
Pachu: Check out the papers and then you decide whether to meet the princi.
I went to the library and got a daily.
It was there in the first page itself.
"President Kalam falls in the bathroom and fractures his arm, doctors advise rest for 3 weeks. President admitted to Army Hospital , New Delhi, his condition is now stable. All programs of president canceled for the next 3 weeks."
Calamity indeed ! Now, I am not stable. Why are the books in the shelves spinning ? why are my eyes getting blurred ? Whats happening ?
"hello, get up. are you okay ? " the voice of the librarian was reverberating like an echo...cold water has been sprinkled all over my face.
A familiar face was staring at me and wiping the water off my face. Oh, it’s Pachu.
"Get up dood, its okay."
"He hasn't had his breakfast and as you all know we are busy with infinITy, so he is a bit tired, that's all." Pachu said to the onlookers.
Onlooker: don’t ignore your health like this, or else the next time you might faint in the middle of the road and it won’t be the same.
Pachu took me to the canteen.
"Dood, I am sorry, he did precisely as you said, broke his hand in the bathroom." Pachu was trying to console me, but he didn't knew how to!
"He not only did that but also made me faint for the first time in my life" I couldn't hide my anger which came out of disappointment.
"Relax dood, thank god you didn't meet the principal." I was hurrying to meet you, heard that the news was there in TV yesterday night itself." Pachu said.
Oh, the flash news that got struck by lightning last night was this!
Why didn't that lightening just stroke me. Infact it did ,but it was the next morning.
Now , it has to be the minuscule collector who got all the bashing even before coming to our college. Now he is appearing as an all pervading omnipotence! IAS isn't that bad a degree.
By the time infinITy was inaugurated we got funds exceeding our expected budget. Mp3 infact bagged the main sponsors, the whole event was a big success with all the 26 colleges taking part, the College from Managalore walked away with the first prize of 15000.Everything was managed very well with the co operation of students and lecturers and contestants.
We got a profit of 40000 at the end of the event, thanks to the finance committee.
1 week later...
That day we had an unofficial department meeting to celebrate the success of infinITy.
That morning, one of my friends told me that there was a letter waiting for me in the co operative store.
I went there, but no traces of the letter. It was getting late for the meeting, I went to the seminar hall without searching further.
In the hall. Almost every student of Computer Science was present along with lecturers, HOD, Principal.
Sudeesh sir was the one to do the honours. He had a mischievous smile in his face.
He started with the usual stuff and then deviated...
"...for the last one month, someone here was too busy doing STDs to Delhi. He was trying to bring the honourable President of India to our college as the chief guest of infinITy! If he wouldn't have had a fall in the bathroom, then Abdul Kalam would have been our chief guest! Now Mr.Kalam has written a letter to us extending wishes to infinITy. I believe this letter certainly deserves an applause."
and the seminar hall applauded.
"I would like to add from the letter, the president is sorry that he couldn't make it to the function due to some unavoidable circumstances. However, during the second week of next month the president has a scheduled visit to Mangalore, he wishes to visit our college on the same day and have a student interaction program. He adds that the genuineness of the invitation that he got from our college couldn't be ignored."
"The one who wrote the letter to Kalam, the one who sent the invitation, the one who sold his friends watch to do 2 dozen STDs to the Rashtrapathi Bhavan, the one who fainted in the library, he is the one responsible for this, he is none other than our own 'rep' I call him upon the Dais to say a few words."
I couldn't move...
Kalam is coming, he has written a letter mentioning the invitation that I had sent, sir calling me to the stage, pachu, pp, pokoi all coming and hugging me, the thunderous ovation that was echoing. All this kept happening around me, I was numb, is this what they call déjà vu?
I was literally lifted to the Dias. Pachu was whispering
"Dood, I had to tell everything about kalam'ity to sir."
My throat was dry, my mind was blank. Now, I needed to speak.
"Ladies and gentleman, yes, the honourable president Mr. Abdul Kalam is indeed coming to our college, Computer Science is bringing him. Let’s do it in style. Thank you."
* title courtesy - boss
