When my project manager left for the silicon valley of the East to add more zeros to his wallet, never did I anticipate what was coming from the West.
It came with the name Ms.L Grammar and brought a project named Nude Sixpacko. Now if I thought L stands for Lovely and if I addressed the project as Nude for convenience then you cant blame me, can you !
With my P.M bangalored I was made the project manager over night , I felt like Cinderella , to be honest. I had to handle the client , which I have never done before. I cant handle my girlfriend properly , forget handling the client and her American slang !
The anxieties of delivering a full scale project all alone on time appeared as nightmares in my afternoon naps at my cubicle.
The first client chat happened one week after I got Nude, I mean the project ‘Nude’.
The project was well on course to break the deadline , the client had all the qualities that would increase my blood pressure. She was rich, she had the looks she had never read a book, she didn’t know what kind of a website she wanted, neither did I!
Ms.L. Grammar : Hows things going ?
Developer : Ms.Grammar, I am sorry , since you had changed your requirement yesterday, we wont be able to complete it as scheduled.
Ms.L.Grammar : Lovely !
Developer : Ms.Grammar, if you keep changing the specification like this we wont be able to complete it in next month either.
Ms.L.Grammar : Lovely !!
(why is she saying lovely again and again ? Is she loving this ? Perhaps, L stands for Lovely ! So its Ms.Lovely Grammar! Eureka !!! )
Developer : OK. Ms. Lovely I will make it as fast as I can.
Ms.Lovely : What did you just say ?
Developer: What happened Ms.Lovely ?
Lovely : How dare you address me like that ! Tell me your name? I want to speak to your supervisor now.
(Holy Christ ! what wrong did I do , other than breaking the deadline !)
Developer : Ma’m my name is Shaji, friends call me alavalathi Shaji, I dont know why.
Lovely : But I know why ! Mr. Alavalathy, in India lovely might mean something nice or sweet but thats not the case here in the west of Atlantic. Watch your tongue hereafter. I am advancing the deadline by a week, I came in chat to tell you this.
Developer Shaji : That’s icing on the cake !
Ms.Grammar came to be called Lovely chechi after that .
*************************************************************************
Now Lovely chechi wants to develop another site related to diet control and prevention of obesity. the site was to be called Gosh. In the site, various Gosh packs will be displayed, the customer can subscribe to these packs and pay online. The packs will be delivered at your doorstep. Emptying these packs as prescribed will supposedly open the doors to a healthy and obesity free life. Even now the doors are opened but the customers cant enter through the door, only such customers need apply.
Once you subscribe to Gosh there will be hardly anything left in your wallet, which apparently prevents you from buying anything to eat, then you will start starving which will shove off those extra pounds.
Shaji is managing a team of 8 and is in all sorts of tension. The deadlines are approaching like Usain Bolt, client keeps on changing the requirements every day, the team is frustrated at the workload. On one such evening , Shaji was trying to write the code for a plugin using Java Script Query (popularly known as jQuery) which was , as expected, not working. The team mates are aware of this . Shaji is not new to this kind of embarrassment. But this time he decided to design a new plugin and implement it. The rest is history !
We will see what happened in that illustrious history.
The plugin has to have the code which would behave in such a way that when the mouse is clicked it should trigger an event. This requires a function named ‘onclick’. And Shaji wrote it as ‘onlick’. But then you cant call it jQuery. It became popular by the name shaQuery. Soon there were numerous versions of shaQuery with naughty replacements of lick in ‘onlick’ at the office.
Conspicuous it would sound but in the end the plugin started functioning with the necessary functions in it.
******************************************************************
Shaji is back to initiate a client chat, to ask some extension to the deadline.
With much pleading, the client agreed for the chat which was initiated in short notice.
Lovely Chechi : I really don’t have time for this now. I hope the stuff will go live as scheduled?
Shaji : Ma'm, we have a situation here, we are facing resource shortage and unexpected issues in quality assurance.
Lovely Chechi : Sorry Mr.Shaji, I am not in a mood to entertain excuses.
Shaji : But ma'm your husband Mr. Andrew agreed to relax the deadline under unavoidable circumstances.
Lovely Chechi : I told you , I don’t have time for this, I need the site up and running in two days.
Shaji : But your husband Mr. Andrew…
Lovely Chechi :My husband Andrew eloped with my son's girlfriend two days back, so you cut that crap. Understand you nutt ?
Shaji : Your site will be up at 6 P.M IST day after. Compared to your situation, ours is not a situation at all!
By the time Gosh was up and running Shaji lost 5 kilos even without subscribing to any of the Gosh packs. Lovely chechi was delighted. Shaji got on with life as before.
A life that was becoming monotonous, a job that remains thankless, the pressure that keeps mounting, last but not the least the salary that never fills the wallet.
*********************************************************************
Few weeks later, he got an email which read like this.
Sir,
We are glad to bring you the news that the plugin that you have uploaded few weeks back is successful in attracting many hits over these days. We have witnessed an unprecedented number of downloads of your plugin ever since it went online.Please accept our sincere appreciation.We would like to add few enhancements to the plugin and make it compatible with all browsers.For the above mentioned reasons we would like to patent the plugin from you. If you could foresee yourself in the scheme of things , wherein your further cooperation in this regard would be highly appreciated and looked forward to, you may reply to this ID. Thank you.
Yours Truly,
Oscar Schindler
Head, R & D
Sun Micro Systems.
Sun Micro Systems!!! Shit ! These guys own java, dont they! which means shaQuery has clicked !
shaQuery indeed triggered the events that brought fortunes in Shaji’s life and his wallet got thicker, more thicker than that of many bangaloreans.
It came with the name Ms.L Grammar and brought a project named Nude Sixpacko. Now if I thought L stands for Lovely and if I addressed the project as Nude for convenience then you cant blame me, can you !
With my P.M bangalored I was made the project manager over night , I felt like Cinderella , to be honest. I had to handle the client , which I have never done before. I cant handle my girlfriend properly , forget handling the client and her American slang !
The anxieties of delivering a full scale project all alone on time appeared as nightmares in my afternoon naps at my cubicle.
The first client chat happened one week after I got Nude, I mean the project ‘Nude’.
The project was well on course to break the deadline , the client had all the qualities that would increase my blood pressure. She was rich, she had the looks she had never read a book, she didn’t know what kind of a website she wanted, neither did I!
Ms.L. Grammar : Hows things going ?
Developer : Ms.Grammar, I am sorry , since you had changed your requirement yesterday, we wont be able to complete it as scheduled.
Ms.L.Grammar : Lovely !
Developer : Ms.Grammar, if you keep changing the specification like this we wont be able to complete it in next month either.
Ms.L.Grammar : Lovely !!
(why is she saying lovely again and again ? Is she loving this ? Perhaps, L stands for Lovely ! So its Ms.Lovely Grammar! Eureka !!! )
Developer : OK. Ms. Lovely I will make it as fast as I can.
Ms.Lovely : What did you just say ?
Developer: What happened Ms.Lovely ?
Lovely : How dare you address me like that ! Tell me your name? I want to speak to your supervisor now.
(Holy Christ ! what wrong did I do , other than breaking the deadline !)
Developer : Ma’m my name is Shaji, friends call me alavalathi Shaji, I dont know why.
Lovely : But I know why ! Mr. Alavalathy, in India lovely might mean something nice or sweet but thats not the case here in the west of Atlantic. Watch your tongue hereafter. I am advancing the deadline by a week, I came in chat to tell you this.
Developer Shaji : That’s icing on the cake !
Ms.Grammar came to be called Lovely chechi after that .
*************************************************************************
Now Lovely chechi wants to develop another site related to diet control and prevention of obesity. the site was to be called Gosh. In the site, various Gosh packs will be displayed, the customer can subscribe to these packs and pay online. The packs will be delivered at your doorstep. Emptying these packs as prescribed will supposedly open the doors to a healthy and obesity free life. Even now the doors are opened but the customers cant enter through the door, only such customers need apply.
Once you subscribe to Gosh there will be hardly anything left in your wallet, which apparently prevents you from buying anything to eat, then you will start starving which will shove off those extra pounds.
Shaji is managing a team of 8 and is in all sorts of tension. The deadlines are approaching like Usain Bolt, client keeps on changing the requirements every day, the team is frustrated at the workload. On one such evening , Shaji was trying to write the code for a plugin using Java Script Query (popularly known as jQuery) which was , as expected, not working. The team mates are aware of this . Shaji is not new to this kind of embarrassment. But this time he decided to design a new plugin and implement it. The rest is history !
We will see what happened in that illustrious history.
The plugin has to have the code which would behave in such a way that when the mouse is clicked it should trigger an event. This requires a function named ‘onclick’. And Shaji wrote it as ‘onlick’. But then you cant call it jQuery. It became popular by the name shaQuery. Soon there were numerous versions of shaQuery with naughty replacements of lick in ‘onlick’ at the office.
Conspicuous it would sound but in the end the plugin started functioning with the necessary functions in it.
******************************************************************
Shaji is back to initiate a client chat, to ask some extension to the deadline.
With much pleading, the client agreed for the chat which was initiated in short notice.
Lovely Chechi : I really don’t have time for this now. I hope the stuff will go live as scheduled?
Shaji : Ma'm, we have a situation here, we are facing resource shortage and unexpected issues in quality assurance.
Lovely Chechi : Sorry Mr.Shaji, I am not in a mood to entertain excuses.
Shaji : But ma'm your husband Mr. Andrew agreed to relax the deadline under unavoidable circumstances.
Lovely Chechi : I told you , I don’t have time for this, I need the site up and running in two days.
Shaji : But your husband Mr. Andrew…
Lovely Chechi :My husband Andrew eloped with my son's girlfriend two days back, so you cut that crap. Understand you nutt ?
Shaji : Your site will be up at 6 P.M IST day after. Compared to your situation, ours is not a situation at all!
By the time Gosh was up and running Shaji lost 5 kilos even without subscribing to any of the Gosh packs. Lovely chechi was delighted. Shaji got on with life as before.
A life that was becoming monotonous, a job that remains thankless, the pressure that keeps mounting, last but not the least the salary that never fills the wallet.
*********************************************************************
Few weeks later, he got an email which read like this.
Sir,
We are glad to bring you the news that the plugin that you have uploaded few weeks back is successful in attracting many hits over these days. We have witnessed an unprecedented number of downloads of your plugin ever since it went online.Please accept our sincere appreciation.We would like to add few enhancements to the plugin and make it compatible with all browsers.For the above mentioned reasons we would like to patent the plugin from you. If you could foresee yourself in the scheme of things , wherein your further cooperation in this regard would be highly appreciated and looked forward to, you may reply to this ID. Thank you.
Yours Truly,
Oscar Schindler
Head, R & D
Sun Micro Systems.
Sun Micro Systems!!! Shit ! These guys own java, dont they! which means shaQuery has clicked !
shaQuery indeed triggered the events that brought fortunes in Shaji’s life and his wallet got thicker, more thicker than that of many bangaloreans.
