dad Becomes dad...!

Its a few years back, when I wasn't this wise...

Yeah, the much awaited 4th semester results have
come. S4 was the most dreaded semesters of all.As
expected the casualties were high in our class and I
was one of the gems in the crown! On seeing the
results our newly appointed HOD just could n't
comprehend what he was witnessing--our mark lists !

Now, the time has come for the parents to see where their
offsprings are standing! ie, outside the class or in front
of principal's room or inside the HOD's room or some other
better place???

We had dreamt of this moment from that moment when we
got the question papers ! But, parents dont have such far
sighted vision ! My case was special , as it always is! Me being the class representative, have led the class from the front in many strikes, competitions ,marches etc and emerged victorious, so its natural for me to be right there in front in results too(now front and back are relative to which direction you are looking from)
HOD summoned me and gave me a taste of his wide range of vocabulary. Also told me to bring the parent before everyone else does.

What does he think of himself %^&*$...parent is something
which we get in the co operative store next to the college
or what?  At the hostel, I had just 4 days left and parents are in Calicut itself, which is comparatively near by...ohh...How
fortunate are those guys who had their parents in Andaman
and Tamil Nadu and such other places! 

In near by town, there are few friends who stay in rented
house ,they said, a dad can be arranged from there and
this town has the history of providing instant dads!
A biriyaani and a packet of cigarette would fetch me a
dad! 
Next day I went in search of a dad, few people were there who I knew. Alas, they were all unavailable for that week , as it was the time of Theyyam (its a popular art form)in Kannur. I didnt had the guts to lure strangers with biriyani and cigarette and they didn't had the personality of being my dad either.

Anyways I had to go home that evening for the weekend and maybe, by the time I return, I can find an oasis in the Sahara. With these thoughts I left to home.In the train, this thought struck me...Why not ask my dad himself what to do! As he is more of a friend to me. But how ??? Friends can be dangerous as well!

At home....

Son-- "Appa...don't you feel bored going to the court all these
years, you need a change once in a while..."

Dad---"Why dont you take me to a movie then ?"

Son--"oh, good idea, there is a movie show being held in
our college next week. its a result oriented movie. This
movie will make you realize the grim realities of life faced
by a class rep. "

Dad--"Have your results come?"

Son--"How did u know that!!! ?"

Dad--"You have become abnormal again!"

Son--"yes the result has come and it was capable enough
of making me abnormal. HOD has summoned the parents and as you are so busy with work I was on the look out for a dad for the last 2 days with biriyaani and cigarette"

Dad--"You parasitic nutt! if you can get me that biriyaani
at Aquarious(its a hotel famous for biriyanis in Kannur)I
can very well come"

Now,this was something which I haven't dreamt in the
weirdest of dreams. This looks more profitable also. Dad
doesn't smoke. A biriyaani alone will do. Wow !!! Such a
relief.

But mom is the threat now. She is a dangerous fellow. She hasn't really heard about red ink in the mark list, HOD, commitments of class rep. etc.
But dad said, mom can be managed with a sequence of lies.

Next day I had to go back to college. Dad was supposed to come a day after that. He said he'll be coming in the morning train telling mom that he has been called for some legal advice by the college authorities.(Dad isn't as decent as I thought him to be, what would have he been like during his college days!). Before leaving I asked him whether we need to have a plan for the HOD. He said he is not doing it for the first time!(But for the first time for his own son!)

Dad--"I have been guardian before"

Son--"What??? You had been dad before marriage!!!"

Dad--"Not dad...elder brother...that was during my college
days. There was this fortunate boy in the school nearby
who was supposed to bring his guardian to his teacher.He
offered me tickets to Clint Eastwood's movie and I became his elder brother ! I was about to bash him in front of the teacher for poor performance and that was when the teacher calmed down and held me back and allowed the boy to enter class from the next day "

Wow!!! my dad is a phenomenal genius.
But I can also expect similar special effects from dad in
front of HOD. But will the HOD hold my dad back or will he
also join the onslaught???

In the train back to college. I was thinking about my other
friends. Poor fellows, what are they going do ? Anyways ,dad will be at college next day morning itself, there is enough time for him to leave back to home.Why not help few of my friends of other branches.
Now, these other branches had different HODs. Only my HOD is gona see my dad. The entrepreneur in me arose! A milk shake after the biriyaani is always welcome.okkkaayyy...

In my room at the hostel I told two of my needy friends that dad is available and they were excited! They asked for details...Lawyer, 5 feet 9 , handsome ,good personality, vegetarian,fond of biriyaani, halwa, milkshake, masala dosa(there was a plethora of food options which I provided with a 'conditions apply' label --they had to
recharge my mobile for one month!) Wow ! quite an astute
businessman I am and dad is quite a good resource !
They agreed to the all conditions but asked me whether dad
will agree. I assured them.


So, next day morning, all set to receive dad, and there
rings my mobile. Mom at the other end. My heart started
skipping beats.

Mom--"Raj, your aunty has passed away suddenly( this
aunty is dad's elder sister settled in Calcutta and was ill for
few days then)we are leaving by the evening flight...will be
back next week, dont worry "

I was shocked...couldn't say anything...HOD, friends, biriyaani,mobile recharge,....oh aunty....you spilled water in all my plans...the tears didn't stop from my eyes...